Some life updates..

It’s been a hot minute. For the last couple months I’ve been in a really weird funk. I felt uninspired and I still haven’t pinpointed why.. I have finally mustered up the motivation to get back to blogging and I’d like to start posting at least once a week. (Putting that out to the universe to hold myself accountable!) I’ve been working on some really exciting content so please stay tuned and thank you to everyone who has subscribed so far! If you haven’t already you can do so on my home page! 

So many crazy changes have happened with me and my family and I can’t wait to fill you guys in! Who to begin with? I’ll go in order from oldest to youngest starting with my husband and ending with baby Kobe!

Jon: My husband is away right now for work. Although we miss each other he is enjoying being able to immerse himself in other cultures. Here are some of the photos he’s sent me! 

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Me: My most recent babysitting job came to an end because the baby we were watching got into a daycare. I was “unemployed” from babysitting for about a month but I finally found something new! It’s only once a week and Kobe really loves the two boys that we get to watch. I am still working my part time customer service job but I love babysitting to fill the rest of our days! Kobe gets to socialize, I get the experience/practice of having another kid (I’M NOT PREGNANT!) and I collect my coin- it’s a win, win!

As Kobe’s mama, I need to lead by example. I read to her for at least an hour everyday but I barely read any books for myself! I am determined to start reading more books! Ideally I’d like to read one book/month. Do you guys have any recommendations? Please let me know in the comments! 

I started going to the gym again! I’ve been filming some of my workouts mainly to critique my form but I’ve also been sharing them on Instagram for you all as well! Between giving birth and when I started working out again (two months ago) I had only gone once. It was right after my 6 week postpartum appointment where you get the “clear” to exercise, have sex, etc. New mothers need so much more than just one appointment 6 weeks after birthing a whole human! When I did go to the gym that one time I felt uncomfortable. Quite frankly, I still looked pregnant, my boobs were gigantic rocks/leaking like a faucet, I was texting my husband the WHOLE TIME to make sure Kobe was okay, I still had a slight limp and I was EXHAUSTED. Why go to the gym when you could take a nap!

It’s shocking to me that I wasn’t eager to hit the gym right away. Prior to having Kobe I was really active and worked out a minimum of 4 times a week. I did a mix of strength training, HIIT, cardio, Zumba, yoga and everything else you could possibly think of. When I got pregnant I was terribly nauseas every day (puked every single day until I gave birth) but still managed to gain 50 pounds, lol. I think most moms can relate to that or understand how that’s possible. While pregnant I definitely “let myself go” and gained weight/lost muscle. It feels great to be building my muscle back. I have absolutely zero regrets about not having a “fit pregnancy”. I can’t change the past so what’s the point in feeling sorrow, all I can do is work for a better tomorrow.

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I think it’s important to go at your own pace and not put pressure on yourself to “snap back”. If my husband were living here I think I would have gone back to the gym quicker because I’d have more help with watching Kobe. The main reason why I waited to go back to the gym is because I am confident in Kobe’s ability to sleep through the night. I would feel horrible if Kobe woke up at night and my mom had to get up to watch her. I only workout late at night, knowing that Kobe will stay asleep. My mom works full time (usually over 50 hours a week) so she needs her rest. My parents got divorced when I was younger so it’s just me, my mom and Kobe living together. My workout schedule really depends on my mom’s schedule but I have been going about 2-3 times a week.

Overall it feels great to be working out again. To any mom feeling insecure about your body, please know that you are beautiful in your own way. I know that sounds really cliche but it’s so true! Bringing life into this world is truly the most beautiful thing. Growing a human is not easy it’s the most intense thing I’ve ever done. It’s common to still look pregnant for weeks after giving birth, it’s just not talked about often. On social media people always posts their best shots, never forget that. Here is a photo I never thought I’d share. Me, four days postpartum.

I’ll talk about this a little more but we are going to see my husband on the mainland in about 6 weeks! It’ll be his deployment homecoming. Who doesn’t want to look and feel their best on vacation? Look good, feel good- amirite? I am going to create a 6 week workout plan and stick to it! It’ll be strictly workouts because I don’t thrive on meal plans. I had an eating disorder all throughout high school. My eating habits are not perfect but knowing myself, I do much better without any restrictions!

Here are my “before” photos. Taken on 9/8/2019. I intentionally rolled my shorts down because we all know how flattering high waisted spandex are. I can’t wait to embark on my new fitness plan, document my results and share them with y’all!

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To anyone who may be struggling with an eating disorder, the book Intuitive Eating really helped me. It’s a wonderful read that explains how newborns eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full. As we get older and are influenced by our parents, teachers, commercials, etc we begin to give foods moral value. Intuitive Eating teaches us how to listen to our bodies cues, eat what our bodies crave and break free from diet culture! This leads me over to Kobe..

Kobe: I don’t like to label Kobe as a picky eater because as she gets older, she’ll internalize what I say about her. Let’s call her a “selective” eater. As Kobe transformed from a infant to toddler she became more selective of the foods she likes which is very normal.

I actually have a whole separate blog post that I’m working on about this but I am on an intense mission to combat Kobe’s selective eating. I’ll elaborate more on a that post but I can confidently say that what I’m doing is working really well for us and that I have taught her how to enjoy broccoli- a food I never thought she’d touch! The basics of what I’m doing is “no pressure exposure” with foods. I continue to offer it to her with absolutely no pressure for her to eat it. Did you know that it can take up to 20 different times of exposure before a kid feels comfortable eating it? Toddlers are learning and exploring a lot and as they get older they gain a sense of awareness, which is actually great! I mean you don’t want your kid to just put ANYTHING in their mouth right? (example: choking hazards, inedible things, household cleaners, etc..)  Sometimes when a food is brand new she won’t eat it but she’ll touch it. Just touching alone can be a huge step for a selective eater so I like to celebrate the little wins!

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She is changing and growing so quickly right before my eyes. She knows all of her colors (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink, black, white and gray!) In true Laker fan fashion, I need to teach her how to say gold! She can count to 10 although she always skips 5, lol. She’s constantly learning and expanding her vocabulary. She says AT LEAST one new word a day and knows how to say “what’s this”. She always points at things she’s curious about and says “what’s this? What’s this?” I love being able to teach her new things!

What I’ve learned throughout my soon to be two years of parenting is that every phase has it’s own challenges! It’s so much easier said than done but my goal is to enjoy each moment while I can. Time stops for no one 🙁 I remember when Kobe was a newborn thinking “I can’t wait til she’s 2, I can just hand her a bag of chips and I won’t have to nurse her anymore..” I will say it’s pretty darn awesome being able to hand Kobe a snack knowing she can independently eat it on her own. But just because I don’t have to nurse her anymore doesn’t mean that things are easier. Well, they are in their own ways but they also have their own set of challenges! Can we talk about how crazy toddlers are?! I should start a book called “Reasons why my toddler is mad at me” I think every parent could relate.. The other day we were at the park and Kobe literally got mad at me because I wouldn’t let her push our stroller down the slide! Once she handed me a white crayon and asked me to draw a “white fishy”.. She doesn’t quite understand that I can’t draw with a white crayon on white paper so needless to say she was really upset when I started drawing and she couldn’t see anything. What is something totally absurd that your toddler has gotten mad at you about? I’d love to hear about it in the comments! 

Here’s the biggest update regarding Kobe. Drumroll please… I put her on a pre-school waitlist! I was literally crying while doing it online, lol. The estimated wait time is 9 months-1 year which is what my husband and I intended. We want her to go around the time she’s 3.

Putting Kobe on a pre-school wait list feels SO surreal to me and it’s really made me realize that our alone time together will one day come to an end. I cry just thinking about sending her to school! The perfect quote to sum up my feelings is: “The days are long but the years are short.” It’s so so so true. The day to day stress of being a mom can be TAXING, absolutely taxing. But it all goes by so fast. I need to cherish my days with Kobe because I’ll never get these days back! The tantrums for no reason, the cleaning up mess after mess and when she poops in the bath can all be enough to make you go crazy but I truly do know that I will miss all of it so much. I love seeing Kobe grow up and evolve into her own little person (she 100% has a personality already) but I wish time would stop for just a moment! I swear I’ll be sending her off to college soon. 

I have so many fears about sending her to school. She’s never been with anyone except me or my mom for an extended period of time. My sister watched Kobe once while me and my husband saw Crazy Rich Asians. She stayed right outside the movie theater and we timed it around Kobe’s nap so it wasn’t a big deal. I have another aunty that I trust with my life to watch Kobe. She watched Kobe once when I had to go to the ER. She is a really awesome aunty that Kobe loves! My dad and uncle have both watched her for about an hour while I’ve gone to appointments. I am extremely selective of who I let Kobe be around because you just never know what others may do. Domestic and sexual abuse are most likely perpetrated by someone the victim knows. Did y’all know that? Isn’t that so scary! The thought of anything bad ever happening to Kobe breaks my heart and to me, it’s not worth leaving her in the hands of anyone else. But at some point I’m going to have to let go of my fears, I can’t be with Kobe 24/7.

I worry about Kobe being bullied or vice versa! She has tendencies to hit and it really concerns me. She hits me when I scold her. I freak out about her hitting her teacher or hitting other kids! It would be so embarrassing for me and I would feel like the worst parent ever if she hit at school. She also gets really possessive over toys and does not know how to share. I think the first few days will be culture shock for her, lol. Also once she goes to school, I have absolutely zero control of what she is exposed to. As a parent, you want your kid to live in a perfect world where everyone is nice to each other! Unfortunately that’s not the case and I fear the day she comes home saying that someone was mean to her or that she’s scared about something.

I am also so crazy overprotective of Kobe that I would like to work part time at the school she goes to! I’m not even sure if that’s possible? Have you or anyone you’ve known done that? Tell me about your experience! I do know of someone who did that at the same branch of her school so I’m hoping it’ll work out for me. I would just like to be there in case something happens to her and be confident in the cleanliness, quality and care that Kobe is being given. I do feel positive about her school because I know of 3 other families that go to the school I put her on the list for and they all love it! Which makes me feel so much better!

Other than that all is good (in the motherhood) and we are really looking forward to our vacation at the end of October! Destination to be revealed later on.. any guesses on where we’re going?

It’ll be my fourth time traveling alone. I decided to book a red eye because Kobe sleeps through the night well at home. Crossing my fingers she knocks out on the flight. Wish me luck! I still haven’t mustered up my “Travel tips with toddlers” post yet because I feel like I’m not the expert yet! I do have a post for Travel Tips With Infants here. After surviving a red eye alone with a toddler, I’ll feel more confident writing down my travel tips with a toddler!

Unfortunately timing isn’t on our side. My husband gets back from his deployment after Kobe turns 2. It’s a bummer that he won’t be present for her second birthday but also unfortunate that we have to pay for her ticket! #BallinOnABudget. If I had it my way, I would scheduled our trip right before her 2nd birthday. However, the plus side to this is that Kobe gets to have her own seat!

I weaned Kobe off of the bottle on our last trip. To me, weaning is one of those things where if you don’t set a firm day on when you’re going to wean, it won’t happen. I know it sounds heartless but I let Kobe drink a bottle of milk on the way to the airport, I left that bottle in the car and told my mom to throw it away along with all of her other bottles at home. I didn’t pack any bottles on our trip, just sippy cups. She was drinking from the Dr. Browns bottle and I transitioned her over to the Dr. Browns sippy cup. They are both pretty similar, she handled the transition really well! It was a very courageous move of me to cut her from the bottle right before an airplane ride but she did great. I remember being so tempted to pack that bottle with me in my carry on but leaving it in the car was a great decision.

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Kobe currently drinks milk from her sippy cup before her nap and before bed. I haven’t officially decided if I’ll do this yet but I am considering cutting her off from her afternoon milk on this trip. I hear it’s so hard to night time potty train kids who drink milk at night. Kobe eventually needs to learn how to sleep without a beverage so cutting her off from her afternoon milk could be a great start. Another idea I thought of is to give Kobe her milk first thing in the morning and right when she wakes up from her nap. The main thing is eventually getting her to sleep without it.

Another Kobe update is that I am trying (not exactly succeeding) at weaning her off the pacifier. It is the LOVE OF HER LIFE. My biggest regret is letting her use it so much when she was little because she has become obsessed with it. Don’t ask why but she calls it her “bingu”, LOL. I was so concerned about weaning her off my boob that I kind of forgot that I need to wean her off the pacifier too! When I was weaning her off the boob (she handled it really well, surprisingly) I felt fortunate that she took a pacifier because I could always give it to her when she cried. As a first time mom, I didn’t realize that crying is so normal in babies. So so so so normal. It’s not that I couldn’t tolerate the crying, I just felt so bad every time Kobe cried and I knew her pacifier would get her to stop. When I have my second baby I think I’ll try to not use pacifiers all together or only let the baby use it when they nap.

I get so tripped out looking at old pictures of Kobe sleeping without her pacifier because right now there is absolutely no way she can sleep without it.

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Kobe is about to be two next month and I can finally say that she only uses her pacifier to sleep. There are very few exceptions now that I’ll let her use it if it’s not nap time. Nowadays, once she’s in a deep sleep I try to pull the pacifier out of her mouth. She normally stays asleep when I take it out but will eventually fuss for it within 30 ish minutes. I give it back to her if she’s going to stay asleep. A few days ago I pulled her pacifier out of her mouth 10 minutes after she fell asleep and she ended up waking up an hour later. She usually naps for 2-3 hours, a 1 hour nap is pretty short for her. I’m 99% sure her short nap had to do with her not having her pacifier. It’ll be a tough transition to slowly get her off of it but honestly, the sooner the better. It’s amazing how you don’t really know what type of parent you’ll be until you have kids. Prior to having Kobe I never thought my kid would be using a pacifier after the age of 2 but here we are.

Thanks for for reading my life updates! Subscribe to my blog and never miss a single post, I have some awesome content coming!